So, another week has gone by and I cannot seem to commit to any one form of artistic endeavour or creative expression. I have played with watercolours, acrylic inks, acrylic paints and watercolour pencils. And yet, I just do not seem to be able to capture the ideas rambling through my mind. Actually, the ideas seem to rocket through my mind at an amazing speed and it is difficult to document them all in a notebook that I keep handy for times like these. It seems as if my brain is moving faster than it should in terms of ideas that I want to play with and explore. This seems to be happening not only when I am awake, but also when I am sleeping, causing me some very vivid dreams.
The dreams have been so vivid and frightening as to cause me to wake up and flee the bedroom. I have been so restless in bed trying to fall asleep some nights that Molly Cat has taken to sleeping behind my head on another pillow and she swats me with a heavy handed paw and lets me know that I need to settle down. Knowing that I am more than likely going to head into another dysfunctional dream of some sort, I hustle myself out of bed and make my way to the kitchen and make a cup of tea. Two consecutive nights in the past week found me without any sleep and I headed into each morning hugging my coffee cup and praying for the powers that be allow me to have at least a few consecutive hours of sleep during the upcoming night.
But, here is the double ended sword. The dreams are scary, but make for interesting stories. In fact, the dreams of the past few nights seem to segue into the next and are quickly filling a notebook that I grab as soon as my eyes open and I start making observations, notes, even little diagrams of what went on in my head over the past few hours. I recounted a bit of the action earlier today to my sister and she was somewhat horrified and suggested that I need to get out of the bedroom when I wake up from one of these terribly frightening dreams. And that is what I do and make the necessary notations whilst sitting in the comfort of my front room with either the radio or television providing some background noise. I even keep a DVD loaded in a portable player for these nights of quiet horror.
I am not able to come to any conclusion as to what is causing the dream activity of the past week. But, I do have enough material to research to try at some point to put into a book. Whether anyone would want to read such dark thoughts is not certain, but judging from the audience for the Twilight series and The Hunger Games, I think the darkness that is permeating my subconscious is more than a worthy opponent for either franchise. That may sound terribly egocentric, but, I have been the one to view the events taking place and I am quite certain that most people would be horrified at what has taken place. I have looked over my notes and wondered how to pull them all together and strangely, the opening sequence for the story shot into my mind. If the dreams terrified my sister, I do not want to think how the opening of the story would affect her. To that end, it appears I will be researching mortuaries, what happens within and afterwards. The unfortunate part of all this is that it appeared to be me in a leading role of this dark and gloomy horror flick. Translating it all into written word is going to take some doing and I may just have to change the story from being told in the first person to some other form. I am not so certain that I want to be the one that meets their demise and would rather push that role onto another unsuspecting character.
Now, back in the studio, I find that I am drawn to the darker shades of blue and now want to incorporate watercolours, acrylic paints along with acrylic inks all on one canvas. I have been playing with each medium independently and on different canvases. None of them are capturing what I see in my mind and truthfully, I am seeing far too many ideas that need to be put down on canvas in some way. I suspect that I need to slow down my thought process and allow myself to let one thought at a time percolate and develop. Then, that would be the time to jot all the ideas down in my journal along with ideas of how to put them on canvas and what mediums should be used and to what extent.
Even now, late into the evening, I am debating whether the next few hours would be best spent in the studio or in bed, trying to capture the ever so elusive few consecutive hours of sleep. At this point, I am leaning towards the studio in hopes of getting something down, anything, just to prove to myself that I still can make art. It has been a bit of a dry spell, but not due to a shortage of ideas or prompts. It is most certainly due to an overactive mind finding itself overflowing with a wealth of ideas and the flow will not stop long enough to allow me to finish one piece. I run from one piece to another and back and forth until I am exhausted.
watch the pottery shards cover a fair expanse of the room. But, that is a story for another day!
How has your week been? Are you able to find some studio time or time to just let your thoughts wander? Hopefully, your thoughts wander to more pleasant places than mine have visited this week. I am laughing whilst typing this as I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoy thriller movies and books. But, I just never thought that I would find myself walking my way through these nightmarish waters each night when I finally hit the wall and find those few precious hours of rest. I am wishing you pleasant dreams both during the day and night, depending when you allow yourself to rest. Here is hoping that you find inspiration in your dreams and are able to make good use of the resources provided by your subconscious. That is how I am hoping my week will play out!
Sincerely, Rutheemac
P.S. I did bring home the hand mannequin from the art shop last week and am enjoying trying to capture the poses on a sketch pad. My cleaning lady came in on Friday and when she walked into the front room she spotted the mannequin sitting on a table. She backed away and looked somewhat terrified, asking what that "thing" might be. I reassured her that it was only a wooden hand with movable joints that allowed me to pose it in different positions. Whilst she did calm down, she did give wide berth to my much sought after prop. I think I will put it in hiding in my supply closet the next time cleaning day comes around. One thing I have learned over the years is that keeping your cleaning lady happy is a priority in order to keep some semblance of order around the flat. :)
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